1. Spoil what’s good in your life.
We all know people who spend their lives chasing ideals and believing that there’s such a thing as 100% fulfillment; an ideal job, ideal business, ideal perfume fragrance, ideal house, ideal vacations, ideal relationship. However, this usually ends up with them going through life with disappointment painted on their faces.
There are men who can date a Victoria’s Secret model, and yet go home pissed off because she had a tiny pimple on her cheek, while the girls from 50 Cent’s video clips didn’t . . . so they keep on looking, watching their perfect 2D women on the Internet and on TV, eternally disappointed in the fact that there’s no such thing as a perfect body and a perfect soul.
There are women caught in the never-ending pursuit of a perfect prince charming on a white horse, willing to exchange their actual happiness for a promise that they can be even happier if only he works less, cares about her more and exchanges all his passions for time mutually spent . . . not even knowing that she will then stop loving him so much.
Is your life good? Then try to make it even better. Instead of changing the bad things, change the good ones. Improve them much that you can finally come to the bitter realization that it was actually better earlier, but the road back is now long gone.
2. Look for difficult options.
Maybe there are some psychics and mediums in real life, but I’ve never met one, and I guess you shouldn’t presuppose that everyone you meet can read minds. When I talk to my friends and family or meet new people, I’m always astonished by the fact that the simplest and best solutions are constantly being ignored. The Bravehearts of the 21st century, who are willing to write a 2000 word comment full of hate on a restaurant’s Facebook page wall, but don’t have the guts to talk with the manager or a waiter face to face; all the “alpha guys” sitting on three benches at the same time with their arms wide, whistling at the long-legged girls, not having enough balls to actually go and talk to them like a man should, instead of acting like an elementary school dropout.
Let me tell you something – everyone is the star of their own movie. They are actually watching and while doing so, they don’t notice the people standing silently in the corner and dreaming about finally getting noticed, not because they don’t care, but because they don’t even know that person exists. You might think you are special and I’m sure you are, but that doesn’t mean you shine, can read minds or that people can read yours. If you want something, you need to grab it. Watching “The Secret” repeatedly and waiting “till you attract it” and it magically appears in your life or waiting till “things get sorted out” doesn’t change much. Sorry.
If you want to meet someone, you call them and say that you want to meet them. You don’t lie in your bed and wait until “he calls you.” If you don’t feel like going out and meeting people, you simply deliver this message without feeling bad, because there’s nothing worse that acting against yourself.
If you want a sandwich, you tell a waiter that you want one. Not sure how to do something? You ask, instead of thinking that you will be alright. You don’t like someone’s behavior? You tell them directly, instead of telling it to everyone around and not that person.
You don’t like your job? You go ahead and change it, instead of rotting there alive and spending days whining about how bad your boss is.
3. Resist what already is.
So you say you are ugly? You were laughed at and bullied at school, you father never told you he loved you and you’ve failed to become a professional football player because of one minor, but fatal injury? You don’t look like Brad Pitt and don’t dance like Michael Jackson? Are you worried about all the bad things from your past and you think that your life would be better if they never happened? Maybe you are right.
I won’t tell you that you are overreacting and I won’t tell you to “see the bright side.”
It is as simple as that – there are certain life situations in our lives which we can’t learn anything from. Sorry. They are simply pointless. They are to be summed up with one simple expression: “It f*cking sucks.” The best thing you can do is to say, “Oh, well, f*ck that,” and go on.
If you step in a dog’s crap, you cannot “unstep” in it. You can only clean your shoes and continue walking. It will still stink, but you know it will soon pass.
4, Accept the unacceptable.
Accept people who don’t respect your time. Words: “You idiot,” or “you will never get there,” or “you are a failure,” ”you bitch.” Aggression and unfaithfulness. Lack of loyalty and gratitude. All of the places, situations and people you would never have written down on your bucket list. There are things that you should simply never accept and never forget. If you do so, not only do you invite these things into your life, but you also attach a sticker to your forehead that says “treat me badly and I will accept that.” You don’t think you get what you deserve? Go where you will get it.
5. Repair things beyond repair.
There are situations and people worth fighting for. However, there are many more situations in which you should just let go, as you simply cannot repair them. It’s not about cowardice or lack of commitment. It’s just about realizing that you’re stepping on a mine field and leaving it ASAP.
6. Ignore important things.
Dwight Eisenhower once said that there are urgent, but not important things and important, but not urgent things.
If you chose the first option, there will be a lot of things happening around you; life on the run, concerts, friends, projects, responding to e-mails you should have responded to three days ago. You won’t find enough time to ask why you are doing this or find out if it’s really what needs to be done, and you will notice that you are slowly becoming a Fight Club character, buying unnecessary things just to impress people you don’t even like.
If you chose the second option, there will be less events going on around you, but they will be much bigger things; things that are really important to you. Instead of having hundreds of answered e-mails, you will have your own book finished, you will grow a business or have a satisfying long-term relationship, with long-term not being only a name.
It’s as important as the moment in your life where you will sit in front of an empty sheet of paper to sum up your life, just to eventually leave it empty, because that’s not the place to write about the buzz you had, the TV series you watched or the brilliant collection of disposable pens you stole from your local bank.
7. Mind the irrelevant.
Mind that he threw his socks in the middle of the room again and put the milk on the wrong shelf in the fridge. Mind the fact that someone criticized you, the fact that you’ve ridiculed yourself at the last meeting.
Sure, we all want to be loved, perfect and flawless, but no one ever will be. Have they criticized you? Let them. Do they gossip? Let them gossip. Maybe it hurts, but take a look around. Because of what happened, did anything change in your own life? Have you suddenly gained 50 pounds? Has your savings vanished from your bank accounts or have you gotten sick? If not, then what’s the big deal?
Do you want to know about one of the most useful life skills? Shrugging your shoulders, lifting your head up and continuing to work your ass off.
8. Predict the unpredictable.
Do you want to know what most guys in the clubs are thinking? “If I knew she liked me, I would definitely go and talk to her.”
Everyone would be first to take action if only they knew the results upfront. At the same time, there are not too many people wanting to do it, knowing that there may even be the tiniest glitch of failure. The catch is that without taking new action, the result is always sure – nothing changes. You wake up in the same place, being exactly the same person. I don’t know if you have heard this one, but the most effective way of improving your well-being is by going for a walk. Changes, motion and looking at things from a different perspective automatically connects our brain to the feeling of happiness. You don’t know what is waiting for you outside your home, but moving alone makes you feel good.
9. Be falsely modest.
Many times, when I was telling people about my plans, I lowered my value and pretended to be mediocre. Today, I know how humiliating, pointless and false this is.
I’m not interested in being average, usual, or “normal.” I’m interested in changing the world, moving it a little bit, even if only half an inch, and leaving this planet a better place. Uniqueness was always something that impressed me. I was never impressed by my high school friends drinking booze on a park bench, but rather by those passionate ones getting great results quickly. It is not a result of my conceit or arrogance, but the result of understanding that everyone has the potential to become another Gandhi, Michael Archangel, Einstein, Jobs or Curie-Sklodowska. I tend to think big and either I will get there, or I will die trying. I’m just not interested in anything else, other than the realization of my dreams and the change of this planet’s mentality with the help of continuing soft education. Let’s face it, we will probably have to leave this planet at some distant point. Either we develop our consciousness and save the human race, or keep acting worse than wild animals and bring our civilization to an end.
Bottom line: People are afraid of their own uniqueness even more than they are of losing acceptance of people they really don’t give a shit about. I don’t care about other people’s acceptance, but rather about a good reason to live and a change of this world for better. Don’t be fooled by this fairy tale story about mediocrity. You are not mediocre, you never were. If you were, you would be reading about The Kardashians or some other dumb stuff right now, so stop pretending to be like a kid wanting to skip school and get your hands to work. Don’t get caught in the big lie that tells you that being mediocre is okay. It’s not. It’s suicide, especially in the modern western world, especially for young people. Do not fool your child by saying that your day at work was “okay,” that “it was alright.” Tell the truth – “Son, your dad showed great intelligence today.” Then teach him how he can achieve more than you did much faster.
10. Procrastinate, even if it doesn’t change anything.
When I was a university student, I always passed all the exams in the first term, the first time. It’s because I was lazy and I always wanted to learn what there was to be learned once, pass the exam and forget it, instead of waiting until last term when other friends had already passed it, or passing the same exam two or three times, or flunking and feeling stressed. Procrastination is pointless in 99% of cases. If your tooth hurts, waiting won’t make it better. Your bills won’t pay themselves if you keep yourself from thinking about them long enough. If you can’t get yourself together after a breakup, booze sessions with your pals four times a week plus your private investigation about what she is up to right now won’t make you start enjoying your life again or help you to meet someone. In these situations, there’s only one ancient and wise law worth applying – the ancient Chinese law of moving your lazy ass. You don’t move your ass, you don’t get to see any changes.
It’s all as simple as taking a slap in the face. It’s not quantum physics. It’s not complicated and not sophisticated, but it works.
Is something good? Don’t spoil it. You can’t change something? Make it go. Doesn’t have impact on your life? Shrug your shoulders. You don’t accept something? So go away, and when making any choices, choose what’s important to you, because no one else will do that for you.
End of story.